Tear Stained Face

In the writing class I'm taking we were given a prompt to write about a sad woman. This is what I came up with.

Tear Stained Face
By Lauren Denman

“Another meal from the church?” She thinks. “I know they mean well, but I do not want their pity.” A daily reminder of what she had lost.
Emily sinks into her chair looking as if she bears the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her hands hold tight to each other, as if afraid to lose the other. She stares out the window wondering where she will go from here. Emptiness is all she finds in a yard no longer filled with the laughter of two beautiful girls.
“Why wasn’t I there? Why not take me?” She pleads. On her knees again, she cries out to God for answers. For Emily, it felt as though he had turned his back on her. Her prayers seem to be empty.
Slowly, she makes her way to the bathroom. As she waits for the water to heat up, she takes a long look in the mirror. Who is this woman she sees? Her eyes now consumed with a darkness that makes them unrecognizable. As she stands there her face fades away as the steam takes over the mirror.
Leaving the shower, she hears the doorbell ring. Not wanting to see anyone or have to pretend she’s okay, she gets dressed quietly hoping they will just go away. Hearing the key scratching and turning in the door, she knew it must be her mother, the only other person with a key to their house. No matter how much she wanted to be left alone, she knew this conversation could not be avoided.
“Emily,” her mother, Jennifer, said with caution. “Are you home?”
Reluctantly she replied, “Yes. I’ll be down in a minute.”
Trying to cover her tear stained face she dabbed some makeup on, but the redness and swelling still shone through.
“Hi mom. What are you doing here?”
“I’m worried about you, Emily. I haven’t heard from you in days. I tried calling. Are you not answering your phone?”
“What do you expect mom? I’m barely surviving right now. I feel like I’m frozen in time, sitting here waiting for them to walk through the door. The world around me keeps moving and I’m stuck. I have to remind myself everyday they’re not coming home. I should have been with them.”
“Emily you can’t think that way. It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done.”
“I just feel so helpless and empty.”
Knowing that words would not be enough, her mother wrapped her arms around her as if to protect her from any more pain. For the first time, Emily was able to take a deep breath and feel some comfort.
Over the next few hours they told stories about the girls and Toby. Emily laughed and smiled for the first time since the accident. Overcome with guilt and grief, she could barely make it through the day-to-day routine. Finally, she had a reprieve from the emptiness and sorrow.
Seeing her daughter smile again felt wonderful, her mother thought. The past few days she wondered if Emily would ever smile again. Jennifer needed this time to talk and laugh with her daughter, too. Emily was not the only one to lose someone close to her. This had also been difficult on Jennifer. In an instant, she had lost her son-in-law and two precious granddaughters. In the midst of it all she knew she had to be strong for her child.
That afternoon they went to visit the gravesite. Fresh dirt on top, grass was beginning to grow. Another sign that no matter how frozen she felt, time would not stop or even slow down for her. Everything and everyone continues on around her, but right now she finds peace in the still and quiet.
As she closed her eyes, she began to picture her wedding day. It had been everything she always dreamed of and more. The look on Toby’s face as she walked down the aisle would stay with her forever. Her mind jumped to the day they found out she was pregnant. It seemed as if life was perfect. Nine months later she brought two beautiful girls into this world. Remembering the way they loved to dress up in her clothes, she laughed at the thought of them in her high heel shoes and dresses. Suddenly, these joyful memories turned dark. Overwhelmed with emptiness she remembered the phone call that robbed her of her happiness. When the officer on the other end of the phone told her he had some bad news, she could feel in her gut something terrible had happened. Listening with disbelief, this stranger on the other end of the phone began to explain how her husband and two children had died instantly in a car accident.
Dropping to her knees, her whole body began to convulse. Her body overtaken by a pain she had never known. In that moment, she wished she had been in the car with them. What was the point of living without them?
Memories of her mother curled up on the couch and sobbing came to mind. For the first time, Emily realized she was not the only person hurt by this tragedy. She felt so selfish. Since Toby’s parents died when he was young, her mother had taken him in as if he was her own. They loved each other like mother and son.
Like someone had flipped a switch, Emily stopped feeling sorry for herself. Reaching out, she took hold of her mother’s warm hands and whispered, “I love you.” As they clung to each other tight, three beautiful butterflies took flight, soaring to the heavens. They were free. A glimmer of hope streamed in like the sun breaking through the clouds. Her healing had begun. Although she still had a long road ahead of her, she knew she was not alone.